By: Emilio Salaverry
I am starting my seventh week of online
teaching and it has been a roller-coaster ride to say the least. What I mean is that I have had
so many emotions during the past six weeks. This teaching thing is hard, even
harder trying to do it through a screen and on lockdown. However, something
weird and awesome happened to me last week; I told my students “I love you”. It
came out so freely and sincere that I didn’t really process what just happened
or had much of an instant impact. So, I am going to share my thoughts on this
experience.
After telling my students “I love you”, I
had two initial thoughts. Immediately, I thought; "I
hope their parents were not listening". Knowing that some parents are next to
their children helping and guiding them through class made me think that they
probably heard me say it. I wonder what they thought of it and if I crossed the
line or not. The good thing is that I haven’t received any emails from angry
parents or even happy parents (but this can be for another blog post). After thinking about the parents, I thought,
I hope my students understand it is not in a romantic way. However, it comes
from a fatherly love, one that is kind, but firm. A love that knows no limits,
one that genuinely wants to see the people in their lives reach their full
potential, a love that comforts, one of mutual trust and respect. Finally, it
is a love that misses the special people in your life, a love that wakes up
every morning motivated and inspired to be present ready to celebrate or to
catch someone when they fall. I just hope my students know that I truly love
them and wake up every morning, well Monday through Friday (just kidding), thinking about them, all my students; past and present. These were some of my
first thoughts after telling my student I loved them.
The second thing I would like to share is
that what I told my students is genuinely true. My students are a source of
inspiration; they need me and I need them. But not as a need for survival, but
a source of synergy where we can combine efforts to become great by inspiring
each other. When I told them “I love you”, we had a very special class; we
watched a Ted Talk about how to let go of all the tags and stigmas society puts
on you, learn how break that façade, and just be you with all your
perfections and imperfections. I shared with them that I also struggle with
doubts, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc. I even told them that sometimes I
compare myself with my colleagues and I feel small and insufficient, which in
some sense it is true because my source comes from a higher power and I am
insufficient, but it is not healthy to compare yourself to others. The funny
thing is that my students made me come to that realization, by sharing words
of encouragement and telling me that I am the best because of who I am, that I
shouldn’t compare myself to others. What
a life lesson, like my wife told me the other day, sometimes you need an
external person to tell you things you need to understand. So, really telling my
students I love them was like, in a sense, expressing my gratitude towards them, thanking
them for reassurance during this time of uncertainty. I think that these types
of conversations, being vulnerable, is where the truth comes out.
Finally, this experience has made me aware
of how much I miss them and how much they inspire me. I have to admit that
these virtual classes are not ideal, but it is the only option we have. As a
result, I am grateful that I still get to connect and engage with my students.
Believe it or believe virtual classes has brought me closer to my students; I
look forward to seeing them every day, I look forward to hearing from them,
getting an email, watching videos, sharing this experience together, hearing them complain about tests and workload, etc. However, I am counting the days to a lot of things once school is opened up again, but I must say, I
cannot wait for those welcome back hugs.
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